Falling back in love [with life]

Okay, so basically two weeks ago was really fucking horrible and depressing. School was shitty, family was shitty, etc etc.

HOWEVER, God must of heard me because this past week was AMAZING!
seriously, one of the best weeks of my life. Isn't it ironic how that happens? A shitty week followed by an incredible week. Life is so confusing and complicated, slowly but surly im accepting this concept.

Okay, synopsis of my past week:
=]

Monday--Drove to Hollywood with my Best Friend Katrina, arrive around 7 pm. We wandered the streets of hollywood, spent all our money at American Apparel. Ate pizza while listening to the Killers play live at the Jimmy Kimmel Show. After shopping and eating, we go to the Roxy to see Schwayze. Everyone their was gorgeous, the music was amazing, and we got our two step on! :D

Tuesday-Go to court for a speeding ticket, my wonderful police officer apparently could not "recollect my case and had no notations of my ticket" so my speeding ticket was dismissed! woot woot! Later that evening, my family chose to celebrate thanksgiving this nite because my brother from San Diego was in town. Kim and Katrina also joined my family for dinner. We ate lots of delicious food and for a split moment i fell back in love with my family. My family and friends, in their own dysfunctional ways, really are truly amazing.

Wednesday-Kim's Birthday Surprise (for me, katrina, and troy!) We had no clue where we were going. We get picked up at 7 pm. Literally get in the car having no idea of our destination. (well, of couse kim and seth knew, but apparently they do know how to keep a good secret) Before we know it, we're in LA once again. Kim surprised us with tickets to HARD turkey soup! HARD was bomb as fuck! We sweated our butts off, schmokd some cigs, met new friends, took a shitload of photos, wandered Sunset Blvd and most importantly, danced the night away!

Thursday-Thanksgiving! on account that my family had already celebrated Thanksgiving tuesday, i spent this day with katrina's family! (my second family, whom i love so very much! :D) We woke up bright and early (despite our late nite from HARD) and ate at the Pomona Mining Company. Food was terrific and the scenery even better. Afterwards, we hit the road for LA, AGAIN! We went to the LA autoshow, which was surprsingly very fun. Katrina and I did karaoke, made a mini commercial, wandered the streets of LA once again (we went on a mission to find cigs!), and ate even more food! After the autoshow, we went to hollywood and highland, third time that week! We visited the Chinese Grauman theater took look at the celebrity footprints, shopped at Kodak Center, and even stopped by the Guiness World Record Museum, and took photo booth pictures! Random, but nevertheless, amazing thanksgiving!

Friday-BLACK FRIDAY! ahhh, the worst day for anyone in the retail business! First, i had work at Tilly's from 5 30 am (!!) to 2. Then, after that madness, i had work at Beachworks from 3-11! I was exhausted but i dont care, cuz that means when pay day comes around lost of moola $$$$!! yayayyaa :D

Saturday-i didnt go to atlantis like i had hoped. But its alright, i was exhausted as it was from my eventful week. I slept for 12 hours!! sat around the house basically until the evening haha. Sometimes we all need days like this, days filled with nothingness--just to relax and recover. I ate sushi with my family. Then, met up with mah friends to jus chill. siiigghh, simple but nice ending to my incredible week.

Today is Sunday, i doubt this week will be as wonderful. But im going to try my best to be optimistic. Thank you life for being good to me for a week (i needed it very much)

:)

The Time Has Come

Good times, good memories, good people. However, i realized that in order for me to truly help myself in a positive manner, i DESPERATELY need to get out of here. =/

Happy 18th, to me

Congratulations Bianca, eighteen years seen and gone. Many people now question who you have become. They say you have changed, lost your way. You have made many mistakes—done some immoral, bad things. Indeed, things as a child you vowed to never do. Your morals, attitude, and beliefs evolved over the years. Maybe you did lose your way at some parts, but isn’t that just part of growing up? Getting lost and finding your way. Deep down you still have a good heart, filled with love and passion. You didn’t change, you’re just surfacing into adulthood. Even through all your life experiences to-date, you are still young, naïve, and innocent. Of course you made mistakes, everyone has. Yes, you fucked-up and did some bad things. But you’ve accepted it and adapted to those changes. And despite what many think, you have learned and become a better person through everything. Things may get blurry and their may be a lot of shades of gray, but you still know right from wrong. Every single experience has taught you something new about life, and has only made you stronger. Many people underestimate you, however, you know you are brilliant and your mind is a sponge fiending for knowledge everyday. Your potential was never lost. It just continues to grow consistently. You did what you felt you had to do to fulfill certain aspects of your identity and answer questions that needed to be answered. Nevertheless, one day, you will make your mommy and daddy proud. Just as they have never lost faith in you, you have never lost faith in yourself. You truly are becoming an adult and you certainly know every action you take today and all your experiences now are inevitably contributing to your future and identity. Your perspective and view on life expands daily. You never have or will be close-minded. Even if certain individuals may disagree, continue to be free and experiment with life. Its what you are suppose to do. Your insatiable need to live and learn has been proven to be the best method for your pursuit of happiness. Fight for yourself, fight for change, fight for progress. Most importantly, no matter what society says, never doubt your potential, beauty, wisdom, and strength. There will undoubtedly be days you will continue to regret and question yourself. Regardless, in the end, you will do great things, and even if just through a butterfly effect, change the world.

“If I had a chance for another try, I wouldn’t change a thing. Its made me all who I am inside. I thank god that I am here and alive. Every day I wait, I tell myself a little harmless lie--the whole wide world is mine. Summer is gone. The years have passed. My friends have changed, a few did last. The smallest dreams got pushed aside, the largest ones that changed my life. Its all success if its what you need. Do what you like and do it honestly. “

This is what you need to never forget.

An Ode to My Friendships

Today is November 12, 2008 and for the record, I would like to state that the most beautiful part of life at the moment is the weather. If you are unfortunate enough to not live in southern California, I empathize for you because it is days like this that I like to think it is God’s way of smiling down upon us. I am actually not presently writing this masterpiece at the desk of my home computer, but instead I am fabricating this blog at the seat of my Journalism 101 class. I know, I know—I as well am glad to be taking advantage of our wonderful educational institutions. Money well spent may I say ( and I wonder why I struggle to comprehend my future endeavors as the poor, clique freshman procrastinator). I am easily drowning out the pestering voice of my professor rambling on about the importance of advertising. Back to life I suppose, the only intentions of these “hear me, hear me” online journals. I should conform to discussing the conventional teenage drama you see play out on any CW show during primetime TV. However as an alternative, this life rant is now going to become an ode to my current friendships. I often find myself (as many do) to write when I am emotional, stressed, angry, blahblahblah. But thanks to this amazing weather and probably also the aid of my not-so-common full eight hours of sleep, and oh so very common venti size coffee this morning, I am feeling especially happy. Therefore, I would like to pause-take a moment-and reflect upon the people that are currently filling my life with everyday smiles. J

1. Katrina Raymundo- My best friend, neighbor, coworker, and partner-in-crime. I could easily write a novel on why I am madly in live with this girl. Luckily enough, I do not have to. Because she has heard it all before and as much as I love to brag and share our stories. Secretly, we both take pleasure in reminiscing in things only we can understand. A connection that the rest of the world questions. Our own infinite inside joke. <69999999999

2. Christian Mayoral- My oldest brother. While our friendship differs in that it was founded from forced upon DNA circumstances, it has evolved into an amazing relationship between an experienced adult and a learning, restless young girl filled with too much teen angst. My brother has always been there for me, and by choice. With a 12 year age gap, he has raised me as much as my own father. The only one in my family that understands, accepts, and forgives me for who I am and every mistake I have done. His faith in me, helps me have faith in myself. As many of my closest friends know, his home has become my secret sanctuary. Whether I am 17, 27, or 50 years old, for all my problems, I will always find myself running to him. He will forever be my mentor.

3. Cathy Ibarra- Hundreds of miles apart, our friendship is still holding strong. You can only find this girl on the complete opposite end of the country, but I talk to her more than the people that live right by me. One of the few that’s not afraid to call me and say “Bianca, you are being fucking stupid and you need to stop.” She keeps me in check, helps me find that bit of sometimes necessary normalcy in life. I do not even have to tell her, and somehow she knows when something is up. We live opposite lives, but yet have so many common grounds. We grew up experiencing our rites of passages basically holding hands. Even though time and distance has now become another challenge we are trying to grasp and overcome together, we both know our friendship is just growing stronger.

4. Troy Nathan Kelly-My favorite boy alive. Fuck, has our friendship evolved—from just talking shit on people at Tilly’s to our now inexpressible, illicit, drama fest lives. While the people above bring sanity to my life, Troy Kelly in contradictory, brings the ever necessary INSANITY to my life. Our experiences together are the moments that make me feel most alive. This being has more charisma, humor, love, and creativity than you could ever imagine to have! I pity those who did not take the advantage of having the pure PRIVILEGE of knowing him. Just give us one hour together, and I swear we can entertain the hell out of you. Our time together is filled with THE most fun, random, and weirdest shit possible. He is irresistibly enticing and I relish in every moment spent together.

5. Kimberly Jeong- One of the most real people alive, which we all know is SO rare to find. In case you did not already know, this Korean is THE shit. She is unquestionably beautiful, brilliant, and infinitely fun. Not to mention, the best texting buddy ever! I envy her free-spirit and outspoken voice and attitude. Despite her very Taurus-like personality, she is one of the most genuine girls I know. Her smile is not fake, so appreciate it when it comes. And even though our friendship is newly-founded, she has taught me so much, and we have already experienced some unforgettable memories together.

While you scroll down this page, and grin to yourself thinking how naïve I am if I believe in those three little words so easily declared as children “Best Friends Forever.” You are misinterpreting the purpose of this blog. Life has taught us all time after time that people come and go—it is a never-ending cycle of growing up. As much as I would LOVE to have all these people in my life forever, I accept the fact that shit happens, people change—and most importantly, life is a rollercoaster. So, my sole purpose of this is to only show my appreciation for the people in my life that are PRESENTLY helping me struggle through my everyday challenges with optimism. We are having fun, learning, living, and growing up together. And that’s all that matters. Whether or not this list may change over the years, the current placement of each individual should know whether they intended to or not, they have already undoubtedly embedded themselves into the formation of my future identity and memory.

And I cheer to that.